Religious Tradition of First Holy Communion Wednesday, May 24 2023 

History and Culture and Everyday Life and Family and Midwest and Faith and First Holy Communions , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 12:08 pm

First Holy Communions are a big deal for Catholics. We dress in our Sunday best, attend Mass together as a family so we can witness our little one receiving the Body and Blood of Christ for the first time, and celebrate with good food and photos.

Traditionally, this momentous occasion occurs in the spring. My family just celebrated my granddaughter, Isabella’s, First Holy Communion in April and my grandson, Nathan’s, this month.

Following are First Holy Communion photos through six generations of my family from my great grandmother through to Nathan. I thought you might enjoy seeing these photos. Noted in parenthesis are the girls’ married names.

My maternal great grandmother, Clara Birnbaum (Hilleman). Don’t you love the crown?

My maternal grandmother, Florence Hilleman (McCarthy), with her sister, Louise, 1921.

My paternal grandmother, Rose Marie Marine (Doyle), and her mother, Maria Cuppicotto Pecho Marine. Great-grandmother, Maria’s, maiden name was Cuppicotto. That name was changed to Pecho by immigration in America. Note Great-grandma’s jewelry. It was the only piece she owned, a simple brass pendant which was passed down to me.

My father, John Doyle.

My mother, Patricia McCarthy (Doyle), 1937.

My sister, Patti; me/Mary; brother, John; and baby sister, Margaret, 1962.

My daughter, Lisa, 1984. I made Lisa’s dress and veil. I used the netting from my wedding veil for her veil.

Four generations – Me/Mary; my mother, Patricia; my grandmother, Florence, and daughter, Lisa, on Lisa’s First Communion Day, 1984

My daughter, Erin, wearing the same dress and veil that Lisa did, 1987.

Four generations

Back row: My grandmother, Florence; me/Mary; my ex-husband, Sam; my mother, Patricia; my father John,

Front row: My son, Joseph; daughter, Erin; daughter, Lisa,1987.

My son, Joseph, and our pastor, 1990.

My son Joseph, 1990. Joey wanted to wear a white suit. He thought he was so grown-up.

My grandson, Daniel, with his pastor and parish priest, 2021.

My grandson, Daniel, 2021. What a handsome guy.

My grandson, Tyler. 2021. Doesn’t he look relaxed with his hands in his pockets?

Family that could “attend” Tyler’s First Communion in a COVID year. We watched mass on our phones in the church parking lot.

Back row: My brother-in-law, Parke; boyfriend, Paul; me/Mary; daughter, Erin; son-in-law, Steve; ex-husband, Sam; daughter, Lisa; daughter-in-law, Ashley; son, Joseph.

Front row: Grandchildren, Isabella and Tyler. 2021.

My granddaughter, Isabella, 2023. What a sweet, little angel.

My granddaughter, Isabella, 2023.

And finally, my grandson, Nathan, 2023.

My grandson, Nathan, 2023. Throughout the day, Nathan said he felt blessed.

***Have you read, The Rosary Prayer by Prayer, Grieving with Mary, Young in the Spirit, or Fatima at 100. Fatima Today?

 

Elmer, the Songster Wren Monday, May 15 2023 

Entertainment and Everyday Life and Midwest and Nature , , , Mary K. Doyle 4:33 pm

Once upon a time, in a far western suburb of Chicago, there was a little blue shingled house. In the spring of ’23, Elmer Wren chose this site for the family he wished to nurture.

Elmer decorated the interior with long twigs in hopes of showing off his design and manly skills. Each twig was carefully selected.

No matter the challenge, Elmer worked until he mastered his plan.

Once completed to his satisfaction, Elmer sang. Morning, noon, and evening he called to the ladies inviting them to check out the beautiful home he’d chosen and prepared.

Females randomly stopped by to peak in. One actually tossed some of his décor out the door. But as yet, there are no takers.

How long must Elmer sing?

Will Elmer win over a special lady to finish off his nest?

Will anyone want to raise a family with this handsome guy?

Stay tuned for further updates.

**Faith changes with age. As we encounter health issues, loss of loved ones, and the challenges of this very busy world, we typically grow closer to our God. Read Young in the Spirit for ways to build on our faith and how our relationship with the divine aids our aging process.

 

Adaptability Sunday, May 7 2023 

Everyday Life and Midwest and Nature and Poetry , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 11:23 am

Amazing how adaptable we are

rooting down firmly,

bending with the wind,

reaching for the sun,

and soaking up rain    

regardless of storms

rumbling thunder,                    

lightning strikes,

biting northern temps,

and mounting snowfall.

Our battle wounds are signs of victory

revealing our strength,

noting our journey,

showing tolerance

and the power of survival.

(Evergreen Tree, Lake Superior, 7/4/21)

 

Do You Want Peace in Your Heart and the World? Wednesday, May 3 2023 

Books and Everyday Life and Faith and Family and History and Peace and Prayer , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 8:57 am

Who doesn’t enjoy a good story—one that is suspenseful, intriguing, and mystical? Well, I have one for you that in addition to all of that, amazingly offers the answer to peace within your heart and the world.

On October 13, 2017, in Fatima, Portugal an audience of more than 70,000 people including journalists and photographers witnessed an extraordinary occurrence. Witnesses stated that on that day, the soaking rain was pouring and suddenly, as if a switch was flicked, abruptly ceased. The sun then appeared to zig zag across the sky, soared dangerously close to earth, and then jumped back up to where it belongs. Some witnesses said that in addition, multicolored lights flashed across them. In the end, the mud and puddles, as well as their clothes, were completely dry.  

Just prior to all of this, beginning on May 13, 1917, Mary, the mother of Jesus, appeared monthly to three children—Lucia Dos Santos and Jacinta and Francisco Marto. Mary told the children about ways in which the world could become more peaceful. She also promised to provide a sign that following October so that all would believe the messages she was giving the children. Those signs were indeed extraordinary and unexplainable as many of the witnesses did then recognize the truth in Mary’s words. Many people also claimed to have received personal miracles.

The dramatic and mystifying manifestations were intended to draw attention to the heart of the messages Mary brought to the three young visionaries which was for all of us to strive for a stronger relationship with God. At that time, the world was at war (WWI), and Mary warned that if people didn’t change their ways, a greater war would result. We know, in fact, that a greater war (WWII) did occur resulting in the loss of more lives and destruction.

Mary’s plan is simple but effective. Basically, it is to pray all day, every day, and in particular, to pray the rosary. Prayer is a conversation with the Lord, and the more we connect with God, the stronger our relationship will be. The rosary is particularly powerful because it centers on Christ. Through these prayers, God becomes at the forefront of our thoughts and actions. We see God in everyone and everything and therefore become beacons of love, light, generosity, and compassion, which can only result in peace.

From the state of the world, we know we have not followed Mary’s guidance. A century later, and we are no more peaceful. If peace is important to us, we need to do our part to make it happen.

For more information on Mary and her peace plan read:

Fatima at 100. Fatima Today, The Rosary Prayer by Prayer, and Grieving with Mary 

(Fatima at 100. Fatima Today is available from ACTA Publications and my website. The Rosary Prayer by Prayer and Grieving with Mary are available from ACTA Publications, Amazon.com, and my website.)

 

Spring in Cantigny Park Thursday, Apr 20 2023 

Entertainment and Everyday Life and Gardening and Midwest and Nature , , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 12:16 pm

Yesterday was cool and sunny here in the Chicago area. I took a refreshing and rejuvenating walk through one of my favorite parks, Cantigny in Wheaton, Illinois. Spring has definitely sprung there. I hope these photos, including the one above of Lenten roses, brighten your day.

Looks like it’s already time to cut the grass!

Redbuds are a sure sign of spring.

Tulips are just beginning to open.

Daffidols always look happy to me.

Bright, sunny, yellow tulips are in abundance.

This garden has a regal feel.

This photo of the archway with the flowering trees ahead is one of my favorites.

Doesn’t this garden look like something you’d find on palace grounds?

I wouldn’t have planted orange and red together, but the color combination is beautiful.

Magnoli flowers blossom before we see the tree’s leaves.

Sometimes, the most striking photo can be of one single item.

***To pre-order my newest book, Tranquility. Transcendence. Transformation. The Enchanting Promises of Public Gardens, call ACTA Publications at 800-397-2282 or contact them at actapublications@actapublications.com. You can also contact me at marykdoyle@att.net.

 

The Alzheimer’s Teacher Friday, Mar 10 2023 

Alzheimer's and Books and Everyday Life and Faith and Family and Health , , Mary K. Doyle 11:49 am

Loving a spouse with dementia for decades comes with tremendous heartache. The treacherous path that must be tread requires steady, patient, and unstoppable footing as well as a thick skin. But through this journey, I also gained some wisdom.

Here are a few things I learned from loving a spouse with Alzheimer’s:

  • Faith, family, and friends can get us through everything.
  • Looking back with regret is pointless. 
  • Get as much rest as you can when you can.
  • Some days neither our spouse with dementia or we spousal caregivers make sense.
  • We don’t need the correct words to get our point across.
  • We’re all a little “off.”
  • Remain in the present moment. The past is over and whatever future we have will be our present. 
  • Slow down. What we are doing at a given time deserves our attention.
  • Skip the little worries and place the big ones in God’s hands.
  • Appreciate everything as if experiencing it for the first time.
  • No matter how far away someone is mentally, they can feel the love.
  • If this moment is troubling, believe there will be others that are better.
  • You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself.
  • Forget the to-do list. Just do the next right thing.
  • There’s always something to cry about.
  • There’s always hope. New medicines, new therapies, and a new peace are ahead.
  • There’s always joy. Even in the worst of times something good is happening.
  • Don’t ignore all your blessings.

*I wrote a few books just for you. These books offer answers to your questions and comfort–Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse, and Inspired Caregiving. (These books are also available on Amazon)

 

Healthy Planet, Healthy Us Friday, Jan 27 2023 

Culture and Everyday Life and Faith and Family and Health and Perspective , , , , Mary K. Doyle 10:56 am

Would you like cleaner air, lower prices, and fewer catastrophic weather conditions? We can move closer to all of this with a few minor lifestyle changes.

There’s no denying that the whole earth is seeing troubling weather and events caused by that weather–fires, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and mud slides. The snowballing impact of these circumstances is tremendous. People are losing their homes, neighborhoods, and livelihoods. Crops are being destroyed, which results in higher food costs and shortages. And these conditions will continue to increase over time.

Some say the cause is due to global warming. Others say it’s normal weather cycles or our lack of faith. And there are those who say that’s nonsense. Whatever the cause, if we want it to stop, we have to look honestly at what we are doing as a nation and individually. At the very least, we can show respect and gratitude for our God-given gifts.

Consider some of the small things that can be done to improve conditions. Yes, these steps require some effort, and perhaps sacrifice. However, we will suffer one way or another. Why not do what we can to improve conditions and leave the earth in better condition than it is right now?

Take a look at this list and see what you can do. A few minor changes will make a big difference.

  • Reduce waste by making careful purchases of items that truly will be used.
  • Repurpose items rather than tossing them in landfills.
  • Donate items in good condition.
  • Consider shopping at resale shops rather than for new merchandise.
  • Use long-lasting lightbulbs.
  • Avoid plastic water bottles.
  • Raise air conditioning thermostat temperatures one degree.
  • Lower heating temps one degree.
  • Conserve water when cleaning, washing, playing outside, and watering lawns and gardens.
  • Clean-up rivers, ponds, forests, and parks.
  • Don’t dispose of medications and chemicals inappropriately. Check with your town and disposal company for their options.
  • Eat locally grown foods to avoid transportation waste.
  • Eat less meat, such as by serving meatless meals one or two days a week. Animals contribute greatly to carbon dioxide production.
  • Promote better environmental understanding.
  • Demand and vote for better environmental protection.
  • Pray for our planet.

*Our faith changes as we age, and for good reason. Have you read, Young in the Spirit?

*Photo: Wayne, IL

 

Undo and Redo Tuesday, Jan 24 2023 

Culture and Everyday Life and Family and History and Midwest and Perspective , , Mary K. Doyle 3:45 pm

As I sat at my sewing machine removing stitches for the third time from a quilt that I’d been working on, I thought about how much in my life has been about doing, undoing, and redoing. Stitch, rip out, stitch again, only to rip out and stitch again until it is right.

My profession is like that, too. I write once but rewrite over and over. I really don’t mind the undoing and redoing because I then have an opportunity to write it better the second or third or fourth or fifth time. I can step away and see what I’ve written from a different perspective. In the end, I have a product I’m proud to put my name on.

Looking back, I see that my education was sort of a redo, as well. I did not attend college after high school but instead married two years later. My parents actually discouraged a higher education for me. What was the point, they asked? Being a good wife and mother was the ultimate goal. It was the early 70s, the end of a period when women were raised solely to be housewives and mothers.

Both of my grandmothers worked while raising their families. But my mother, and most women of her generation, did not. During the first couple of decades after World War II, men returned home and back into the workforce replacing the women who took over for them while they were gone. The working mom was the exception, and she was often looked down upon by other women.

My mother attended college for three years and worked as a chemist for General Foods before marrying and giving birth to her firstborn, my brother. I never understood why my mother never returned to complete her college education or wanted to work again.

Nor did she understand my desire to do so. She agreed with my then-husband that returning to school was a waste of family money.

But I longed for more. My solution was to apply for every available scholarship. I ended up with much more money than needed for junior college. Progress was slow as I’d take one class at a time. It was 18 years before I’d completed an associates, bachelor’s, and master’s degree. During those years, I had three children, divorced, worked, and remarried. School had to be squeezed in between other priorities, my children being the most important. Most likely, earning those degrees immediately after high school would have been easier, but I was fortune to have the opportunity and perseverance to accomplish it later.

Unfortunately, we can’t completely redo every decision we make. Some have lifelong repercussions. Those are the times that require major alterations and adjustments. We often can get where we want to go, however it may be via the long and winding road.

***Have you read Young in the Spirit, Saint Theodora and Her Promise to God, or The Rosary Prayer by Prayer?

Please write a review on Amazon if you’ve read my books. I’d be most grateful.

 

The Measure of Success Tuesday, Jan 17 2023 

Books and Culture and Everyday Life and Family , , Mary K. Doyle 11:35 am

The definition of success is curious to me. Is it number based, such as our financial worth, how many boards we serve on, how much product we’ve sold, or how many children we have? Perhaps, it is title based, such as president, CEO, pastor, or doctor. Or is success the achievement of a personal goal, whatever that may be?

Most of us are critical of our self-assessment of success. For example, our goal may have been to become a professional singer. If our calendar is filled with dates does that indicate that we are successful? Or must we also consider how much we are paid for these bookings and the types of gigs we work?

One truth I found while interviewing hundreds of people through the years is that if someone has achieved greatness in a particular field, they likely have little to show in other parts of their lives. We only have so many hours in a day, so many days in our life to achieve this goal. If we devote 90% to one thing, we can’t put in more than 10% anywhere else.

While attending a television award ceremony years ago, I realized that those who received honors for their tremendous levels of success in a role on or behind the scenes honestly noted that they reached that level because of someone, mostly a spouse or life partner, who carried the load at home. They were able to focus entirely on their career because someone was behind them caring for the home, children, and even their personal needs. Their partner actually was equal in accomplishing that goal for one of them.

Some note that their personal success appears to be minimal to others yet is significant to them, such as maintaining sobriety, feeling positive or grateful, or regaining strength. Personal tragedy, injury, or illness may have robbed them of mobility, hope, or motivation. Getting back on track one minute step at a time may be a tremendous achievement for these people.

Perhaps, success is attaining a full package of work/family/life balance. We are doing well at work. We care for our family whole-heartedly. And we care for our personal needs considering what it takes to maintain a healthy body, mind, and spirit. That isn’t likely to put us at the top in any one particular position. But we are invested in all parts of our lives.

Recently, I was speaking with a wise, intuitive acquaintance. I told him that I was disappointed in my book sales. Several of my titles sold well, some are even considered best sellers at my publishing house. But none were going to cover my living expenses, much less the years it took to write them.

This new friend pointed out that books are written to fulfill a need in the author. Also, many of the books I’d written were helpful, even said to be life-changing, for readers. Those books helped more than I could measure because of the ripple effect—the number of people who were helped because of how the book affected that reader who then reached out to others. According to this acquaintance, that made a book successful.

It then appears that how we measure our success is a personalized assessment meaningful to us. Only we can set our goals and strive to attain them. Only we can honestly know if we are, and have done, what we’d hoped with our lives leaving behind a legacy of which we can hold our head up high.

***Here are a few of my “best-selling” and award-winning books: The Rosary Prayer by Prayer, Grieving with Mary, St. Theodora and Her Promise to God, Young in the Spirit, Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse.

 

Love Them Where They Are Tuesday, Jan 3 2023 

Alzheimer's and Books and Everyday Life and Family and Perspective and Poetry , , , Mary K. Doyle 9:08 am

Like sunshine

on an overcast day

rays of the man I knew

peek through the clouds

leaving me longing for more.

This poem sums up how we feel while living with a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease. Like a tease, we are shown moments of lucidity that briefly allow us to think all is well. Periodically, our loved one knows us, remembers our many adventures and shared life. Such moments quickly vanish and become less frequent as the disease progresses.

I wrote this poem for the opening page of my book, Navigating Alzheimer’s. My husband, Marshall, showed symptoms of Alzheimer’s during the last 15 years of our marriage. The heartache of witnessing the decline of his health and memories of our lives together continuously diminishing, in addition to the demands of around-the-clock caregiving, took its toll on my own mental and physical health. However, I learned while caring for him that loving and accepting him where he was at each point in time in the illness was important. Since, as of this writing, there is no way to reverse the disease, symptoms are progressive. Although today may be sad and difficult, tomorrow will likely be worse.

Live in the moment, enjoy the moment, alongside your loved one, wherever that takes you.

***Learn more about managing symptoms of Alzheimer’s and other dementias, as well as my experience, in the books The Alzheimer’s Spouse and Navigating Alzheimer’s. And please, if you have read either of these books, write a short review on Amazon.

 

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