The Alzheimer’s Teacher Friday, Mar 10 2023 

Alzheimer's and Books and Everyday Life and Faith and Family and Health , , Mary K. Doyle 11:49 am

Loving a spouse with dementia for decades comes with tremendous heartache. The treacherous path that must be tread requires steady, patient, and unstoppable footing as well as a thick skin. But through this journey, I also gained some wisdom.

Here are a few things I learned from loving a spouse with Alzheimer’s:

  • Faith, family, and friends can get us through everything.
  • Looking back with regret is pointless. 
  • Get as much rest as you can when you can.
  • Some days neither our spouse with dementia or we spousal caregivers make sense.
  • We don’t need the correct words to get our point across.
  • We’re all a little “off.”
  • Remain in the present moment. The past is over and whatever future we have will be our present. 
  • Slow down. What we are doing at a given time deserves our attention.
  • Skip the little worries and place the big ones in God’s hands.
  • Appreciate everything as if experiencing it for the first time.
  • No matter how far away someone is mentally, they can feel the love.
  • If this moment is troubling, believe there will be others that are better.
  • You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself.
  • Forget the to-do list. Just do the next right thing.
  • There’s always something to cry about.
  • There’s always hope. New medicines, new therapies, and a new peace are ahead.
  • There’s always joy. Even in the worst of times something good is happening.
  • Don’t ignore all your blessings.

*I wrote a few books just for you. These books offer answers to your questions and comfort–Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse, and Inspired Caregiving. (These books are also available on Amazon)

 

Love Them Where They Are Tuesday, Jan 3 2023 

Alzheimer's and Books and Everyday Life and Family and Perspective and Poetry , , , Mary K. Doyle 9:08 am

Like sunshine

on an overcast day

rays of the man I knew

peek through the clouds

leaving me longing for more.

This poem sums up how we feel while living with a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease. Like a tease, we are shown moments of lucidity that briefly allow us to think all is well. Periodically, our loved one knows us, remembers our many adventures and shared life. Such moments quickly vanish and become less frequent as the disease progresses.

I wrote this poem for the opening page of my book, Navigating Alzheimer’s. My husband, Marshall, showed symptoms of Alzheimer’s during the last 15 years of our marriage. The heartache of witnessing the decline of his health and memories of our lives together continuously diminishing, in addition to the demands of around-the-clock caregiving, took its toll on my own mental and physical health. However, I learned while caring for him that loving and accepting him where he was at each point in time in the illness was important. Since, as of this writing, there is no way to reverse the disease, symptoms are progressive. Although today may be sad and difficult, tomorrow will likely be worse.

Live in the moment, enjoy the moment, alongside your loved one, wherever that takes you.

***Learn more about managing symptoms of Alzheimer’s and other dementias, as well as my experience, in the books The Alzheimer’s Spouse and Navigating Alzheimer’s. And please, if you have read either of these books, write a short review on Amazon.

 

Modified Holidays for Loved Ones with Dementia Monday, Nov 14 2022 

Alzheimer's and Culture and Everyday Life and Family and Health and Holiday , , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 9:35 am

With the holidays approaching, all the fun and memorable events ahead present increased challenges for people with dementia. In addition, the darker days of fall and winter present other issues related to less sunshine. As many as 66% of people with dementia are thought to be affected by the setting of the sun. Beginning in the late afternoon, these people may show symptoms of confusion, anxiety, and aggression.

Families long for the traditions that mark the holidays. Special foods, music, colors, clothing, and decor shared with family and friends trigger emotions and tie memories of the past with the ones we make today. Sadly, our meaningful traditions are likely to be too much for our loved one with dementia. Including them can be more harmful and upsetting for them than enjoyable.

Brain power continues to diminish with dementias such as Alzheimer’s disease. Every level of stimulation we present to someone with this disease requires them to manage it with less and less ability. Think of all the stimulation we have this time of year–holiday lights; aromas from the kitchen; rich foods; and music, laughter, and multiple simultaneous conversations. This stimulation overload is exhausting for the healthiest people much less those already fatigued from daily living.

Maintaining a predictable routine with limited, controlled stimulation, and periodic rest periods is the key to keeping a person with mid-to-late-stage Alzheimer’s and other dementias calm. Parties that include our loved one with dementia are best limited to a handful of people at a time, close to or at home, in a quiet location, and for no more than two to three hours including travel time. Small group visits throughout the season rather than everyone at one time may be the best alternative.

Family members who do not spend much time with our loved one are not likely able to understand the change in traditions, or that our loved one may not be able to attend their festivities at all. However, celebrations with a loved one with Alzheimer’s is often more difficult for them than memorable or meaningful and therefore, need to be modified or completely abandoned. If we truly love them, the impact of our festivities on them and how we may include them in a way that is good for them rather than appeasing our emotional needs will be our priority.

**For additional guidance on living with loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias, see Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse, and Inspired Caregiving.

 

Advances in Early Detection of Alzheimer’s Wednesday, Jul 20 2022 

Everyday Life and Family and Health and Medicine , , Mary K. Doyle 1:18 pm

A simple blood test reveals a great deal about our health. Anemia, blood cancers, and infection can be detected in addition to learning information regarding heart, liver, and kidney function. And soon we may have a blood test for Alzheimer’s disease, as well.

Alzheimer’s disease’ isn’t typically suspected until symptoms begin interfering with daily living. More than 6 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease, and countless others unknowingly have it as the disease develops in the brain 10-20 years before symptoms appear. By the time Alzheimer’s is evident, valuable time has been lost—time that could have been used to maximize experiences with family and friends, plan for the future, make end-of-life decisions, and take advantage of medical options available in early stages.

As of this posting, an Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis is made through a combination of basic screening and physical, emotional, and cognitive exams. There may be genetic testing if it’s believed to have run in a family. A more definitive diagnosis can be made with a spinal tap that detects tau proteins in cerebrospinal fluid. However, this is quite an invasive test and not covered by insurance.

The progression of Alzheimer’s disease begins when brain protein called amyloid beta accumulates into plaques. Another protein, tau, then produces tangles. Neurons begin to die from this build-up of plaques and tangles. Finally, brain tissue atrophies which can be seen as decreased brain volume on MRI testing.

PET brain scans are our best testing option at this time. However, the test requires an injection of a radioactive tracer for imaging, is expensive, and not covered by insurance.

All of these tests have limitations. Even PET brain scans and cerebrospinal taps do not provide information on changes in the neurons. Most importantly, our current tests are not able to detect Alzheimer’s until the disease has progressed significantly.

An exciting option on the horizon is a blood test that can be taken earlier in the disease process, perhaps even before symptoms begin. The Lumipulse G β-amyloid Ratio (1-42/1-40) is in the development stage and is hoped to be available soon.

We also have a new form of MRI that detects the loss of neurons that precedes brain shrinkage and cognitive decline. This test will then offer results sooner than the traditional MRI.

Current Alzheimer’s research focuses predominately on finding treatment for symptom management. Detection before massive destruction of cells would be more beneficial, and perhaps it would lead to a cure, which is not yet available.

For more information, see the FDA and the Alzheimer’s Association sites and the books, Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse, and Inspired Caregiving.

 

The Battle of the Bath Thursday, Apr 7 2022 

Alzheimer's and Everyday Life and Family and Health , Mary K. Doyle 3:45 pm

Getting a loved one with later stages of dementia into the shower is like setting them up for torture. They can put up quite a fight over things we commonly do. We need a hefty dose of patience and compassion to move our loved one through the process.

Bathing is a necessary, albeit challenging, component of Alzheimer’s care. Not only do the people around us appreciate cleanliness, bathing aides in the prevention of rashes, skin disease, and urinary tract infections. We can reduce frequency to three times a week because skin tends to thin with age and illness. However, hands, face, and private parts should be kept clean throughout each day.

The reasons people with Alzheimer’s detest bathing are many. 

  • They no longer understand why they need to bathe.
  • The concept of time is lost, so it can feel as if they just took a bath.
  • The cleansing process is confusing and forgotten.
  • People with dementia cannot regulate body temperate very well, which makes them feel cold.
  • The sensation of the water on their body is uncomfortable.
  • And they may be embarrassed about being naked and needing assistance.

Reasoning with someone with Alzheimer’s is not possible. An argument is sure to develop if we try to explain why a bath is necessary. But there are a few things that can be done to make it a little easier and safer for both the caregiver and bather.

  • If your loved one is emphatically resisting stepping into the shower, let it go for an hour or so. Our loved one may be more agreeable if we try again at a later time.
  • Engage them in a story, perhaps with a topic they still like to talk about or sing a song while you undress them and escort them into the shower.
  • Offer a treat, such as potato chips, a cookie, or ice cream as a reward once the shower is over.
  • Provide a safe shower with a hand-held shower head, safety bars, non-slip flooring, and a seat or bench.
  • Ensure that the room and the water temperature is comfortable.
  • Offer a washcloth, toy, or fidget item for them to hold.
  • Speak softly, respectfully, and directly to help move things along.

My recommendation for everything we do while caring for our loved one is to consider health and safety for both our loved one and ourselves. When that health or safety is compromised for either of us, it’s time to think about additional or different support. I know the challenges and 24/7 responsibilities you’re experiencing. I’ve been through it myself, and I hold you close in prayer.

**You’ll find many helpful hints in books written with you in mind: Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse and Inspired Caregiving.

 

Now Appearing in Heaven Saturday, Mar 9 2019 

Alzheimer's and Everyday Life and Family and Health and Midwest , Mary K. Doyle 11:50 am

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We who believe in a loving God and the gift of everlasting life, rejoice in death. In our hearts, we know our loved one is at peace in the midst of the Light. We mourn the passing of one we’d prefer with us in this world but this belief does bring comfort in our loss.

My husband, Marshall Brodien (84) of Geneva, passed away peacefully early morning on March 8, 2019. He was surrounded by family in his last days, and I only left his side to shower (which the rest of the family appreciated.) Most of the week, I held his hand. In his last hours I sat beside him with my head on his pillow, holding both of his hands, and listening to his last breaths.

Hospice educated me on the signs of passing which became increasingly more evident with every minute. As his hands grew colder, I prayed the rosary and spoke to God and to Marshall. His breaths gently faded, he squeezed my hands, and I felt his spirit leave the body.

Twenty five years ago when I first told my mother about Marshall she was concerned about the 20 years age difference between us. I assured my mom that Marshall was a gentleman, and she soon realized his kindness for herself.

Marshall’s public persona meant that he belonged to the public. Loved ones had to share him with fans everywhere we went. His attention often was elsewhere.

However, Marshall made me feel loved every day of our marriage. He called me “My Mary” and “The love of his life.” He didn’t hesitate to publicly say, “I love that girl.” I never doubted I was in his heart and greatly appreciated the joy he brought to me and my children.

Marshall may be best known for creating the Marshall Brodien Magic sets and TV magic cards with his famous tagline, “Magic is easy, once you know the Secret.” He’s also fondly remembered as the magical, wacky character Wizzo on Chicago’s Bozo Show for 26 years. Marshall, aka Wizzo, would wave his stone of Zanzibar and say the magic words, “Do-dee-do-dee-do.”

Marshall’s rich life began in Chicago with his loving mother, Mildred, Father Arthur, and brother, Charles. At the age of eight, a female magician entertained at his school. He soon became hooked and put on his own shows for family and friends. He later became a side-show barker at Riverview Park.

He was drafted into the army in 1957 and commissioned to the Special Services Entertainment Division at Fort Carson, Colorado. He performed more than 700 shows at hospitals, officer clubs, and private parties over his two years in the military.

Marshall continued entertaining by performing magic and stage hypnosis at lounges, clubs, and county fairs as well working as a trade show spokesperson for corporations such as Owens-Corning Fiberglass, Bethlehem Steel, Reynolds Aluminum, and the American Gas Association.

Marshall showed symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease disruptive to daily life since 2004. I cared for him at home for ten years and he lived in managed care for almost another five.

In addition to me, Marshall is survived by his three children, three step-children, nine grandchildren, four step-grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. There also is one more on the way. He was preceded in death by his daughter, Christine, who passed away in 2016, and his brother, Charles.

Donations can be made in his name to Arden Courts of Geneva (2388 Bricher Road, Geneva, IL 60134), Heartland Hospice (1010 Executive Drive, Suite 200, Westmont, IL 60559), or the Alzheimer’s Association (225 Michigan Ave, Fl 17, Chicago, IL 60601).

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What a Woman Wants Saturday, Feb 13 2016 

Everyday Life and Family and Holiday , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 12:27 pm

 

IMG_1649Heads up guys—I have the secret for making your Valentine very happy.

The days of my husband, Marshall, showering me with lavish gifts are long gone. No more jewelry, flowers, or chocolates from my sweetheart. But he does give me everything I need from him.

Marshall was a generous gift-giver. He showered his loved ones with extravagant treats and never hesitated to pick up the dinner tab. The more money he made, the more he gave. He spoiled all of us, and himself, without going beyond his means. He gave what he had when he had it.

He’s been retired a decade, and unaware of the meaning of Valentine’s Day for many years. He still tells me he’d “like to do something nice for me.” But because of Alzheimer’s disease, those thoughts are fleeting and have no connection to significant occasions on the calendar. He no longer can show me how he feels with store-bought gifts.

What he does do is to tell me how he feels. Repeatedly he tells me how much he loves me and what I mean to him. Today he said that he lives for me. How romantic is that?

What a woman wants is to feel special. We want to know that our man holds us close to his heart. My love has done that for me every day since the day we met. No present is better than that.

So my suggestion to you is to say those things you hold in your heart. We need to hear it, even if we know. Don’t hold back this Valentine’s Day. Tell the one you love how dear they are to you.

And give her a little something to open. Those “I love yous” don’t get the rest of you off-the-hook for a gift.

©2016, Mary K. Doyle

 

 

Do You Like Me? Thursday, Feb 4 2016 

Books and Everyday Life and Family and Health and How To and Leadership and Mentoring , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 10:48 am

How much do you want to ‘Like” Me? I have 11 Facebook pages. Not only do I have a personal page and one for me as an author, I also have one for every one of my books as well as one for my Beautycounter business. Some posts are duplicated but most are targeted to specific groups.

Please “Like” as many as you find of interest. And comment and post! It’s very lonely to post alone. I need your feedback to know if I’m on track with my thoughts and words.

Here is a list of my Facebook pages and the content you’ll find there:

  • Mary K Doyle – My writing and work as an author/speaker
  • Navigating Alzheimer’s – Credible information on dementia and caregiving
  • Hans Christian Andersen Illuminated by The Message – Faith and fairytales, especially those by Andersen
  • Grieving with Mary – Grieving and Marian devotion
  • Young in the Spirit – Aging faithfully
  • Saint Theodora and Her Promise to God – Saint Theodora and children
  • Seven Principles of Sainthood – Saint Mother Theodore Guerin, also known as Saint Theodora
  • The Rosary Prayer by Prayer – The rosary and Marian devotion
  • Mentoring Heroes – Mentoring
  • Beautycounter By Mary Doyle Brodien – Beauty products, beauty tips, health
  • Mary Doyle Brodien – My personal page for close friends and family

©2016, Mary K. Doyle

 

Sleep and Alzheimer’s Prevention Wednesday, Dec 2 2015 

Everyday Life and Health , , , , Mary K. Doyle 4:30 pm

Sleep well. That’s something I often say to my children and grandchildren when speaking with them in the evening. Studies show how important sleep is for us in so many ways. Now new studies are linking the need for sleep and the reduction of Alzheimer’s disease.

Scientists have documented numerous connections between sleep loss and memory loss. Chronic sleep deprivation causes injury to parts of the brain that are essential in maintaining attention and forming and storing memories.

Currently, there is an interest in how this relates to Alzheimer’s disease. People with Alzheimer’s tend to waken often through the night. At this point it is uncertain whether the poor sleep contributes toward a cause of the disease or is only a symptom. Dr Erik Musiek, assistant professor of neurology at Washington University in St. Louis says that new research suggests that sleep and circadian rhythm problems early in life may contribute to the risk of Alzheimer’s and accelerate the disease.

Studies show sleep-deprived mice accumulate greater amounts of beta-amyloid plaque, a substance believed to damage and destroy brain cells in those with Alzheimer’s. And one finding showed the spinal fluid of mice swirled around the brains while sleeping, cleaning out the protein substance. If this is true for humans, it would greatly reinforce the need for sleep. It would offer a solution in the reduction of the disease.

©2015, Mary K. Doyle

(For an excellent article on this topic, see the November 25, 2015 Chicago Tribune article, “Linking sleep and Alzheimer’s” by Mark Taylor.)

 

What Time Is It? Saturday, Nov 21 2015 

Culture and Everyday Life and Family and Health and Holiday and Nature and Perspective , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 3:56 pm

My apologies for the lapse in posting. The last month and a half flew by vacationing with one of my daughters and her family; preparing for two different 75 minute talks, working a booth and presenting at a conference in California; revising one of my books; enjoying time with my son who was in town; and completing all the regular daily work, home, and family activities.

Time is a funny thing, isn’t it? Sometimes it speeds way past us. Other times it crawls slower than a turtle. The clock continuously clicks away at the same speed whether we are lost in a movie or worrying about our teenager out on a Saturday night. It isn’t time but our perception of it that changes with the events that are occurring.

Children perceive  the arrival of Christmas morning as endless, unlike middle-aged adults who feel like we just packed up those decorations. When we consider that a four-year old waited a quarter of their life for Christmas to come again, it’s easier to comprehend their anticipation.

The concept of time has intrigued philosophers since antiquity, although much remains unclear even today. Numerous in-depth studies have been made. Recent ones incorporate psychology, memory, biological functions, environmental changes, circadian rhythm, and the relationship between time as perceived and time as measured in physics.

Time is defined as the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues. It is the period when something occurs. Time is related to the complex experience of change. The succession of events and changes are separated by intervals called duration—such as the duration of a dinner, a walk through the park, or shaking someone’s hand.

Few durations are isolated. Most overlap. For example, we text while eating and listening to the radio.

We have no specific receptor for time, unlike our senses of taste, smell, hearing, and sight. Time perception is subjective. Psychologists believe there is a neurological system associated with sensory pathways governing the perception of time. It utilizes a distributed system in the brain. Since time cannot be directly perceived, it must be constructed.

The perception of time requires attention. New events appear to take longer because we must pay attention to them more intently. Older events are connected to our memory and already processed to some degree. Doesn’t it feel as if the trip going to a destination typically seems longer than the return home?

Attention to time comes with attention to the stream of time-data without losing concentration, which is why those with attention-deficit find it more challenging to gauge time correctly.

Time disorientation is common in people with Alzheimer’s disease. This probably is connected to the inability to concentrate as well as the mounting challenge of reading clues such as the rise and fall of the sun and hands on a clock. The person with Alzheimer’s only knows how it feels to them at the moment, since they increasingly live in the moment. For example, it may feel like we haven’t seen them in weeks when in reality, we just walked out the door. It may feel to them as if they showered moments ago, when they haven’t showered in days.

Metabolic rate also may affect the perception of time. The larger the animal, the slower their metabolic rate, and the quicker their perception of time. Smaller animals metabolize faster resulting in a slower perception of time allowing them to perceive more events in the same time span.

©2015, Mary K Doyle

 

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