Midwest Mary

Loving a spouse with dementia for decades comes with tremendous heartache. The treacherous path that must be tread requires steady, patient, and unstoppable footing as well as a thick skin. But through this journey, I also gained some wisdom.

Here are a few things I learned from loving a spouse with Alzheimer’s:

• Faith, family, and friends can get us through everything.
• Looking back with regret is pointless. 
• Get as much rest as you can when you can.
• Some days neither our spouse with dementia or we spousal caregivers make sense.
• We don’t need the correct words to get our point across.
• We’re all a little “off.”
• Remain in the present moment. The past is over and whatever future we have will be our present. 
• Slow down. What we are doing at a given time deserves our attention.
• Skip the little worries and place the big ones in God’s hands.
• Appreciate everything as if experiencing it for the first time.
• No matter how far away someone is mentally, they can feel the love.
• If this moment is troubling, believe there will be others that are better.
• You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself.
• Forget the to-do list. Just do the next right thing.
• There’s always something to cry about.
• There’s always hope. New medicines, new therapies, and a new peace are ahead.
• There’s always joy. Even in the worst of times something good is happening.
• Don’t ignore all your blessings.

*I wrote a few books just for you. These books offer answers to your questions and comfort–Navigating Alzheimer’s, The Alzheimer’s Spouse, and Inspired Caregiving. (These books are also available on Amazon)

©2023, Mary K. Doyle