Midwest Mary

Shoofly pie, head cheese, elephant ears, and monkey bread. Should we really be eating foods with these names? Can you cut your mouth on glass noodles? Is it naughty to eat devil’s food cake?

Why do we have so many misleading names for foods? Sweetbreads are not sweet breads. The snack, puppy chow, isn’t for puppies.  And what about buffalo wings? Not only are buffalo wings NOT buffalo meat, buffalos don’t even have wings. Could they fly if they did?

Many of the foods with scary names are desserts. Maybe the person responsible for naming them wanted to prevent us from stealing their food, like the brother who spits on the cookies so his sister won’t eat them.

Then there are the foods that deceive non-English speaking people like cans of the shortening, Crisco. Crisco features a label with cherry pie on it. Do some assume the can contains pie?

Or how about the fabulous candy called Frango Mints that were once sold by Marshall Field’s, now Macy’s? Frango in Portuguese means chicken. You can smell the chocolate and mint when you pick up the box of Frangos, so Portuguese speaking people may think that they’re buying chocolate, minted chicken. Does anyone really want that?

Maybe there should be laws about naming foods appropriately. Or better yet, I should file for government funding for a study on this.

I think I’ll ponder these thoughts over a slice of mud pie.

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*Photo: Armando Loyal’s elephants

©2024, Mary K. Doyle
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