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Shadows in the Night

Imagine living your dreams and nightmares when awake, This is the experience of people with Alzheimer’s disease and suffering from a condition called sundowners or sundowning. Fantastical images, past memories, and present activities jumble together for a disturbing reality.

As sunset nears, the chances of this disturbing state of mind increase. Sundowning syndrome is a mood and behavior change that occurs as nightfall approaches and when the barometer falls. It can result in confusion, anxiety, aggression, paranoia, pacing, and/or wandering.

Approximately 20% of people with Alzheimer’s develop this condition occasionally to regularly. But it can also happen to older people who don’t have dementia.

Some of the triggers include overstimulation, fatigue, hunger, pain, boredom, the onset of darkness, hormonal imbalances, an upset in the internal body clock, and urinary tract or other infections.

Remaining calm when dealing with a loved one in the midst of a sundowning episode can deter the situation from escalating. However, I do understand that this isn’t easy for exhausted caregivers. My husband, Marshall, suffered from sundowning, and his anxiety and activity level often increased in the late afternoon/early evening.

When Marshall worked magic shows and owned entertainment clubs, he had worked late into the night. This pattern continued when he developed Alzheimer’s. He’d want to leave the house in the middle of the night thinking that he was scheduled for a show. This also was a time when he was most likely to fall down the stairs or wander, and if he walked out the front door, he’d be lost.

Some recommendations to offset this common condition are to speak gently, reassure your loved one that they are safe, and turn on lights. If they need to pace, allow them to do so. Also, lock and alarm doors, block stairways with gates, and remove dangerous tools.

Practices to minimize future episodes include maintaining a structured day that includes exercise and short rest periods; a calm home environment; the avoidance of sugar, alcohol, and caffeine; and discouragement of lengthy daytime naps. As night approaches, gentle music and the avoidance of noisy television programs can be helpful.

As the disease progressed, I’d have all these practices in play, but Marshall only became more insistent on wandering at night. The gate on the stairs angered him, and he could become harmful to me and himself. This was one of the main reasons I finally had to move Marshall to memory care. There, he could safely walk all night in a secure, enclosed setting with caregivers who worked night duty.

***If you’ve read Navigating Alzheimer’s, or any of my books, I’d greatly appreciate a short review. You may also be interested in The Alzheimer’s Spouse and Inspired Caregiving. I wrote these books based on thorough research and my own experiences with fellow caregivers in mind.

Responses to “Shadows in the Night”

  1. Laura

    Caregiving, especially for a loved one with this disease is so incredibly hard, and often so very much under appreciated. Thanks Mary for all you do in support of caregivers, and for the awareness you bring. 😊 Sundowners is definitely misunderstood, as is a lot of aspects of Alzheimer’s. Your real life experience no doubt helps many people 😊

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you so much for your understanding, Laura. I appreciate you and your comment.

  2. Looking for the Light

    Your posts reminds me of the challenges we had with Granny. She didn’t have Sundowner’s but her struggle was violent towards herself and any medical staff. I wish this illness on no-one. Thanks Mary. I chose Mary as my Baptism name and Catherine for my Communion name. I’m Melinda Melody Mary Catherine, sounds like I picked two great ones. I forgot why I picked St. Catherine, actually there is more than one but she spoke to me at 14 years old.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Your names are beautiful and so perfect for you, Melinda Melody Mary Catherine. 🙂

  3. Chamir

    Alzheimer’s is my greatest fear. Bruce Willis is one of my favorite actors. It’s silly looking back at it now, but I LOVED Armageddon as a kid. Also Die Hard. Then he started to be noticeably different in his acting to the point where people like Tracey Morgan were making fun of him… but he was suffering from Alzheimer’s that entire time.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Few people can identify the symptoms of Alzheimer’s, especially in early stages. And no one understands the challenges of the caregiver unless they experienced it first hand. We can be with someone with Alzheimer’s for a few hours and never see how serious their struggles are, partly because the individual has no self-recognition of those symptoms. Thank you for participating in this important discussion.

  4. Monkey’s Tale

    Great information Mary. Although my mom didn’t have Alzheimer’s she did display Sundowning Syndrome for a few days while in palliative care this past December. My sister and I were staying in her room. My sister is a nurse so thankfully the first time this happened, it was on her watch and she managed to calm my mom down so she eventually fell asleep. I had never heard of this syndrome and I felt so sad for my mom. She was so confused and scared. What an awful way to spend your last few days/nights. Thankfully, for her it only lasted a couple of nights. It must have been so difficult for you to deal with for a long period of time. Maggie

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for your understanding, Maggie. I’m sorry your mother had to experience this and you see the terror in her eyes. It is so heartbreaking.

  5. jeanvivace

    This is very good and very wise advice to take care of our health. I appreciate your kindness and love towards your husband. Much respect!

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Jean. My husband passed away in 2019. I continue to offer what I learned to family caregivers. They are the ones who are often isolated and need so much assistance.

    2. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Jean. Marshall was a good man, a wonderful husband, and influential step-dad to my children. He deserved my devotion, however, I went too far trying to take care of him myself. It nearly killed me.

      1. jeanvivace

        I understand, it’s been tough time but I think now you are grateful even you went too far and now God will bless you ‘forever’. Have a great day:)

      2. Mary K. Doyle

        Thank you, my friend.

  6. Cindy Georgakas

    Sundowning syndrome episodes are so scary and difficult. I can’t imagine what you dealt with and the resilience and love and care. Memory care is essential! Hugs, Mary❣️

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, Cindy. All good advice. Thank you, my friend.

  7. Dawn Pisturino

    Excellent advice!

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Dawn.

  8. Anonymous

    Thank you for sharing this with us. This has been one of my fears as Alzheimer’s runs in my family. I am very forgetful and can’t remember what I did a few hours ago. Some say is stress, others say is that I am carrying to much .

    I am so sorry to hear about Marshall. My aunt had to do the same with my Uncle who would often get violent when she would close and lock doors from keeping him from leaving the house.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers as is Marshall.

    Thank you again for sharing this insight with us.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for joining in this important conversation. You might want to do what you can for your body and mind’s health such as exercising, eating a healthy diet, staying social, complete word and number puzzles, and be happy.

    2. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for joining in the conversation. If you are concerned about your health, you can try to keep your body and mind healthy with a good diet, exercise, staying social, completing word and number puzzles, and being happy.

  9. Under the mask..

    This brings back much of especially my 3-11 time as LNA in Homes’ locked wards (and others). Mostly, I’m scared (not without reason) that my husband may go that route. I don’t think I’d be physically or emotionally up for that level of care, here.🌹May God over-bless all who feel the same.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Keep in mind that your spousal responsibility is to see that your husband is cared for. This means that care doesn’t have to come from you. You are to oversee his care.

      1. Under the mask..

        Thank you, Mary — I will keep that in mind, indeed!🌹

  10. marvellousnightmare

    Thank you for sharing this exceptional and very important article, and for bringing awareness to this disease!
    This post is immensely helpful to others.
    It must be very difficult for you, and I feel so sorry reading this. I hope your husband’s condition doesn’t progress further…

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you. Marshall passed away in 2019 after 15 years of Alzheimer’s symptoms. I cared for him at home for the first ten years, and then visited him in memory care the following five.

      1. marvellousnightmare

        I’m very sorry to hear that, Mary :/
        I don’t believe in death, I mean, I believe that our soul are immortal, and he is with you, and you’ll meat again. Still my deepest condolences …

      2. Mary K. Doyle

        I totally understand your view of death and agree. Thank you for tender words.

  11. Michele Lee

    Thank you for sharing this valuable information, Mary. Although I’ve experienced the heartbreak of losing loved ones to Alzheimer’s and witnessing friends do the same, I was not familiar with Sundowning syndrome.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      I’m surprised how many are saying they had not witnessed sundowning in their loved ones. I thought it was more common. Thank you for commenting.

      1. Michele Lee

        You are welcome and thank you for your willingness to discuss your knowledge, gained through personal challenges.

  12. Darryl B

    Mary, great post. I used to support a guy who lived in a retirement/assisted living place. Many of those poor souls had dementia…so sad. My caregiver group used this book as a guide to gently dealing with those folks… very well written, an easy read, lots of tips and techniques

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for your work with people with dementia. What book did you use, Darryl?

      1. Darryl B

        The one I linked to above. In case the link didn’t go through, it’s “Let’s Talk Dementia” by Carol Howell

  13. Dawna

    Hi Mary,

    I’m so sorry to hear of your husband Marshal. Alzheimer’s is a horrible thing to navigate. I have never heard of Sundowners, though it makes total sense. I will be looking more into it. I’ll also make sure to check out your books. I’m excited to read your writings.

    Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story here.

    Hugs my friend.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Dawna. Sundowners is just one more condition of Alzheimer’s that makes caring for our loved ones so challenging.

      1. Dawna

        I’d love to hear/read more about Alzheimer’s. My aunt was diagnosed early onset. She was 66 years young. She’s been in skilled nursing since 2021. They moved her to the section of the hospital where she could walk outside and walk the halls freely, but a couple of weeks ago she had a really bad episode and they put her on the secure, lock down side. Makes me sad. Makes me sad to see and hear of those we know and love fall prey to this life altering disease. Thank you for sharing with your readers and I look forward to diving into your books. Hugs my friend.

      2. Mary K. Doyle

        It is very sad, Dawna. I’m sorry your aunt is going through this. It is difficult to watch. So many of the early symptoms are missed because we see them as someone being lazy or rude instead of unable to do differently. I do have books I wrote on this, Navigating Alzheimer’s being the basic, first book. The book is still used by many memory care homes, especially where I spoke prior to COVID.

      3. Dawna

        WOW Mary, I didn’t realize the amount of books you’ve written. I’ve added them to my cart on Amazon. I definitely have some reading to do.

  14. mistermaxxx08

    Very powerful and alzheimers is strong and takes so much out of you. All of it is cruel. Bless your heart and soul for sharing. Thoughts and prayers 🙏 with you uplift

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for your kindness and support, my friend.

      1. mistermaxxx08

        My story with my grandmother back in the day it was something else though it wasn’t sundowning syndrome however it was tough in its own right and I applaud and always send prayers to you 🙏

      2. Mary K. Doyle

        I’m sorry your grandmother suffered and you experienced her like that, Mister Maxxx. It’s all part of our humanity.

      3. mistermaxxx08

        It was part of my growth and character building and she took care of me and it’s only what I should do in honor

  15. Rosaliene Bacchus

    Mary, this is the first time I’m learning about the Sundowning syndrome. How difficult for you as your husband’s caregiver during the final years of his life ❤

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for your compassion, Rosaliene. I appreciate you.

      1. Rosaliene Bacchus

        🙂 ❤

  16. Kym Gordon Moore

    Oh wow Mary, I am so saddened to hear about your husband. I interviewed Gary Glazner with The Alzheimer’s Poetry Project for one of my podcasts last year, because my mom suffered with dementia and there were a few other people I knew who were suffering from this mind-robbing disease. I dedicated a poem in my last book to my mom, “The Mind Predator” and watching someone you love go through this horrifying disease is heartbreaking. May God bless you for what you are unselfishly doing. I can’t imagine the stress this is bringing on you, but we shall keep you lifted up in prayer my sweet friend. 💖

    If you want to hear Gary’s interview and if you have time, here’s the link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/41xF1Mfi0qMtSHDyjBycNP?si=gR2e8v9rT6q7Z_4oJKxdIg
    Continue to stay encouraged my dear Mary! 🤗🙏🏼😊 You are an angel! 👼🏼

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for adding to the discussion, Kym. I’m sorry about your mom. It is painful for you, as well. I have PTSD–still having nightmares about my inability to care for my husband. I look forward to the end of those dreams. 15 years was a long journey, but I do believe I helped people when I spoke across the country and through the books. I will check out your interview, my friend. Thank you for the prayers. It is what carries us. Love to you.

      1. Kym Gordon Moore

        Oh my dear Mary, caretaking is more than what people may perceive it to be. But I truly believe God has you in a special place to share your story and to connect with so many who simply don’t know what to do and the stress gets the best of you. PTSD is very real with caretakers. Just don’t forget to stop and take care of yourself. 🤗 There are several resources out there in your area I am sure, who can engage your husband for a few hours each week so that you can take some time out for yourself, if you haven’t already taken advantage of such services. Peace, love and blessings my friend. Continue to stay encouraged and prayed up! 💖🙏🏼💞 Much love to you too my sweet friend. 🥰

      2. Mary K. Doyle

        You are a compassionate friend, Kym, and I appreciate you. Marshall passed away in 2019, and I do feel considerably better now. It has been a long recovery, which is why I still want to pass on what I learned and help caregivers as much as I can.

      3. Kym Gordon Moore

        Oh my goodness, I am sad to hear that it has been some time since Marshall left. I can see how this situation is still very relevant in your life as you help many who are dealing with similar challenges as a caretaker. God bless you my friend. Your work is vital and I hope you realize how much you are appreciated. If you don’t, then just know what a special soul you are to so many who benefit from your presence and message. Hugs to you dear Mary! 🤗💖🥰🙏🏼😊

      4. Mary K. Doyle

        Gosh, Kym, you are so very kind. Thank you, my friend.

      5. Kym Gordon Moore

        You are so very welcome my dear Mary. Love, empathy, and compassion begets love, empathy, and compassion, from your heart to mine and vice versa! 💞 Make this weekend oh so FANtabulous my dear! 🥂 You deserve it! 🥰

  17. Edward Ortiz

    Thank you for sharing this, Mary. I’ve experienced the loss of relatives and friends to this terrible disease, and it’s just too painful to see the stages of Alzheimer’s.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      It is very painful for all involved in any way. Unfortunately, we do all know someone who has had it.

  18. Nancy Homlitas

    My mother-in-law had Sundowners before she passed. Many of the residents in her nursing home suffered from it and would wail and scream throughout the night, It gives you an eerie feeling. Thanks for the helpful suggestions sad condition, Mary.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, heartbreaking it all is, Nancy. I’m sorry your mother-in-law had to suffer with it and you and the family suffered with her.

  19. Destiny

    I am aware of Alzheimer’s but not of Sundowning Syndrome…always something to learn and thank you for sharing, Mary…

    best wishes your way 🤍🙏🤗

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Destiny. I appreciate your input.

      1. Destiny

        my pleasure 🤍

  20. restlessjo

    Thanks for the information, Mary. I wasn’t familiar with this aspect of Alzheimer’s. It must have been tough keeping him settled.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, Jo. When someone with dementia is agitated, it can take every drop of patients to redirect them.

  21. arlene

    Sad, really for those who have this syndrome.🥰

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, it certainly is, Arlene.

  22. Carol anne

    hugs Mary. I would not wish this disease on anyone! Xo

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      I love hugs. Thank you, Carol Anne.

  23. Pooja G

    A very informative post, thank you so much for sharing this information.

    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Pooja. Alzheimer’s is a 24/7 caregiving responsibility, so caregivers can’t easily get out for the information they need. The posts offer a resource for families. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, Pooja.

      1. Pooja G

        That’s so true. I’m so glad you’re helping and sharing this information. I’m sure they appreciate it being made easier for them.

      2. Mary K. Doyle

        I think so, Pooja. Thank you for understanding their circumstances.

      3. Pooja G

        I definitely understand. We care for my grandmother with dementia and although it’s not the same it is similar in many ways.

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