Midwest Mary

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By

Mary K. Doyle

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Why We Suffer

“Grieving triggers a range of spiritual questions. We ask why ‘this’ happened to us. Why did it happen now? We want to know why we must endure such anguish and how long must we suffer.

When our security is threatened, it’s not unusual to begin a dance with God. We bargain that we will do something if God does something for us. If we don’t get what we want, emotions may turn to anger. We blame God for the evil done by human beings or for not preventing bad things from touching us. We think God did not answer our prayer, when in reality our answer came but differed from our expectations.” – Excerpt from “Grieving with Mary“

Bad things happen to good people. We can guess why this is so, but no one can know for sure. Some say it is punishment for our failings. Perhaps there are lessons to be learned by those involved or those who observe the event. God may want to get our attention, offer an opportunity to become a better person, or prompt us to grow closer to God. The event or circumstance may be a teaching “moment” for us to assist others who go through similar situations. Maybe it is the fallout from the evil in the world that randomly affects some people. Or this pain simply may be part of the human condition in a human world.

The only thing we can know for certain is that we are not perfect. Jesus is perfect, and yet Jesus suffered, terribly. Why wouldn’t we too?

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Grieving with Mary is available from Amazon.

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©Mary K. Doyle, 2025

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Responses to “Why We Suffer”

  1. gustavo_horta

    Eu quisera ter uma fé assim.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Você pode pedir ao Senhor que o ajude a crescer na fé, Gustavo. Se quiser, eu orarei por você.

      Reply
      1. gustavo_horta

        Orações vindas de quem tem fé são sempre bem-vindas.
        Eu não creio em deidades. Sou apóstolo do poder do universo e na interminável sabedoria das energias deste universo incomensurável.
        Mas orações são sempre bem-vindas.
        Abraço grande e fraterno.

        Reply
        1. Mary K. Doyle

          Então, você tem minhas orações, meu amigo.

          Reply
  2. Power up

    “We all go through moments of weakness and questions with no clear answers, but believing that God’s mercy encompasses everything brings peace to the heart—even in the midst of pain.”

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, that is true. Thank you for adding to the discussion.

      Reply
  3. kagould17

    Good post Mary. When we ask the question “Why Me? perhaps we need to ask “Why not Me? Stuff happens all the time and it is not what happens to us that defines us, it is how we respond to what happens. Once we get our minds around the impediment, we can move forward. Happy Monday Mary. Allan

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Exactly, Allan. You are so right, my friend.

      Reply
  4. satyam rastogi

    So true beautiful writing ✍️

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Satyam. Have a wonderful week.

      Reply
  5. Nancy Homlitas

    A big thumbs up for your conclusion, Mary. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thanks, Nancy, my friend.

      Reply
      1. Nancy Homlitas

        You’re welcome, Mary. 🤗

        Reply
  6. Dawna

    Nice post Mary.

    You are so right, Jesus is perfect and he had to suffer not only a horrific and painful death, he suffered ridicule. He suffered taunting and betrayal. So why not us.

    This is a good reminder to keep in the front of our minds, especially when we don’t get something we’ve asked for.

    I know for me I have to constantly remind myself, God knows what’s best for me, even if I don’t understand at that moment. I suppose even when we feel our prayers haven’t been answered, perhaps they have been, just not in the way we want, but in the way He knows is best for us.

    Hugs and much love to you Mary. Enjoy your day

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for adding so much to this post, my friend. Your faith is beautiful, Dawna. Love you much!

      Reply
  7. Penn,…

    We are definitely not perfect, Mary, … And when we ask why? Why is this happened? Why has that happened?, … We show our imperfections, … In this life, we’re tested, it’s up to us to make sure we pass our test, whilst expecting no help from anyone else, … As you say, Jesus suffered, … Are we to be spared?
    Thank you for your thought provoking words my friend , …💙

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      You offer great insight, Penn. Thank you for your important comment.

      Reply
      1. Penn,…

        💫💙💫

        Reply
  8. gustavo_horta

    Perfect? Far from it.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Right?

      Reply
  9. 5thgenerationgirl

    This is why it’s so important I trust God completely. Even in my brief moments of doubt & confusion, I’ve learned to not allow myself to stay in that negative space , therefore, thankful for His grace.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      It’s so much easier to get through life this way, isn’t it? Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your presence here.

      Reply
  10. Awakening Wonders

    Grateful Mary for the inspiring message!

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Mary. I hope you are healing and resting, my friend.

      Reply
  11. Kym Gordon Moore

    No Mary, we are not a perfect people. Thank God for His Love, Mercy, and Grace! 🥰🙏🏼🤗💖😊

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      For sure, Lady Kym. Love you much.

      Reply
      1. Kym Gordon Moore

        I receive that Mary and the same to you too my love! 🥰💖😘

        Reply
  12. gc1963

    We grieve in suffering. A very simplistic answer to our sufferings would be difficult to find. But these are tools to gain wisdom in hindsight. Perhaps that is how God sends signals. He wants us to reach out to Him. He wants us to remember Him. He wants us to seek Him. Suffering is the outcome of human error. In our courage to overcome suffering we unite with Him. It’s just how we perceive our relationship with God. As a friend….as our guardian…as our beloved. In our religion God can be worshipped in many ways. We have to build a relationship with Him. In modern parlance we have to network with Him.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Your words are beautifully written and explained, my friend. I appreciate your comment very much.

      Reply
  13. joannerambling

    This was wonderful, thank you

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Joann.

      Reply
  14. Looking for the Light

    Such helpful words.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Melinda. Have a relaxing evening.

      Reply
  15. Why We Suffer – NAIJACONNET

    […] Why We Suffer […]

    Reply
  16. Hazel

    I believe sufferings happen to get closer to God. God bless you, Mary

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      You may be right about that, Hazel. Thank you for your input.

      Reply
      1. Hazel

        It’s my pleasure, Mary. Enjoy your day or night.

        Reply
  17. blondeonthebrink

    Grief is the hardest part of love.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      That is so true. I appreciate you stopping by and hope to see you again soon.

      Reply
  18. Cindy Georgakas

    Thank you for sharing and the reminder, Mary. 🙏🏼

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Hi Cindy, thank you for reading and commenting, my friend.

      Reply
      1. Cindy Georgakas

        You’re so very welcome, Mary! Hope your eyes are better!
        😍

        Reply
    2. hubertprevy

      As for me, I often find myself wondering whether I’m somehow immune to misfortune. And the honest answer is: I’m not. In such moments, I remember the words of my father-in-law’s father, which have stayed with me ever since I first heard them:“Everything belongs to God. So I do not mourn what He has taken from me—instead, I give thanks for all He has allowed me to keep.”

      Reply
      1. Cindy Georgakas

        Such a lovely gift and example to love more and appreciate what you do have! 💗

        Reply
  19. noga noga

    My love, I am so happy to see you again. My best wishes and prayers to you, Mary. ❤❤

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Hi Nougat! Good to see you! I hope all is well.

      Reply
  20. Indira

    A well shared message, Mary!

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Indira. Blessings to you.

      Reply
  21. Mindful Mystic (MM)

    Much love to you, Mary. 🙏❤️

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, MM. The same to you, my friend.

      Reply
  22. Kimberly Vargas Agnese

    And He is willing to suffer along with us now as He walks us through the valley… He is the good shepherd. Such times are so hard.. but He draws us into deeper intimacy with Him through them.. empowers us to comfort others with the same comfort He gives us.. takes us.. from glory to glory…

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Well said, my friend. Thank you for adding to the discussion. Love you!

      Reply
      1. Kimberly Vargas Agnese

        🙂

        Reply
  23. Michele Lee

    Insightful and thoughtful share. Thank you, Mary. 💐 I’ve learned through experience that the challenges often turn into blessings. Trusting in that truth is a calming response and helps during difficult times.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, you are so right, my dear Michele. Thank you for taking the time to read and add your insightful words. Have the best day, my friend.

      Reply
  24. Swamigalkodi Astrology

    Impressive

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you.

      Reply
  25. SiriusSea

    Poignantly written and emotionally heartfelt, Mary ❤ … Thank you for being such a beautiful soul, God's treasure!

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you for that “warm hug,” my friend. Love to you, Ms. Siri.

      Reply
  26. Dawn Pisturino

    The Bible does not promise happiness in this life, and Jesus clearly stated that his kingdom is in the next world. Wonderful post, Mary!

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Yes, Dawn. You are right about that. All the best to you.

      Reply
  27. mistermaxxx08

    very honest and raw as the truth. so many questions insightful and full of depth. amazing as your soul

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Mister Maxx. I hope all is well with you.

      Reply
      1. mistermaxxx08

        Good to hear from you and you struck the right words very moving

        Reply
  28. Garden Bliss

    We’ve all been there, Mary, and we trust in that higher power. Blessings to you.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      You’re right, Flavia. Enjoy the day, my friend.

      Reply
  29. Edward Ortiz

    That was a powerful ending, my friend. As long as we remain in this world, suffering will always come knocking. But God has something far better in store for us. Great post, Mary.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Thank you, Edward. Your feedback is important to me, my friend.

      Reply
      1. Edward Ortiz

        You’re so welcome, my friend.

        Reply
  30. sibongilecharitysehlake

    True, we panic when things happen and fear make us question things. Thank you

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Welcome! Thank you for taking the time to comment.

      Reply
  31. ISHVI THE PHILOMATH

    Grief indeed is so hard to deal with. It is only by God’s amazing grace that I am able to surpass it.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      God is good and loving. Thank you much, Ishvi.

      Reply
  32. P. J. Gudka

    I think I spent a lot of time thinking about why we suffer but later realised that it’s not up to us to figure out the answer. It is what it is. What I try to concentrate on is the lessons difficulties teach us and how they allow us to practice things like forgiveness.

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      That is an insightful and mature approach to suffering, Pooja.

      Reply
      1. P. J. Gudka

        Thanks. I came to this conclusion while reading Meditations.

        Reply
  33. johnlmalone

    this is a tough one, Mary: why the innocent suffer …..

    Reply
    1. Mary K. Doyle

      Why is a good question, but we know it happens all the time.

      Reply
      1. johnlmalone

        even today in Gaza ………

        Reply
        1. Mary K. Doyle

          Exactly. Horrific!

          Reply

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