Midwest Mary

When I was a child, and two or more of my siblings would fight or misbehave, my mother would punish all of us. Without fail, one of the innocents would cry, “Why am I punished? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

My mother would respond, “Well, that’s for all the times you did and you didn’t get caught.”

We are told what to do by our parents, doctors, teachers, bosses, friends, and spouses. There are so many dos and don’ts, and many are conflicting. If you feel deserving of a scolding, scan this list. You’re sure to find something that applies:

• Get some rest.
• Get going.
• Get to work.
• Do something with your hair.
• Save your money
• Go to the doctor.
• Eat healthier.
• Lose weight.
• Wear sunscreen.
• Watch your step.
• Watch your language.
• Watch out.
• Stop biting your nails.
• Stand straight.
• Sit down.
• Close the door.
• Be on time.
• Be yourself.
• Be respectful.
• Get off the phone.
• Stop texting.
• Turn off the computer.
• Walk away.
• Don’t argue.
• Don’t waste that.
• Don’t pick at that.
• Don’t touch that.
• Don’t say that.
• Don’t wear that.
• Listen to me.
• Don’t listen to them.
• End the addiction.
• Relax and have a drink.
• Drink in moderation.
• Just say no.
• Please say yes.
• Say your prayers.
• Clean this up.
• Get organized.
• Pay the bill.
• Make a decision.
• Figure it out.
• Stop worrying.
• Fight for your rights.
• Walk in peace.
• Leave it to God.

©2014, Mary K. Doyle