Shoofly pie, head cheese, elephant ears, and monkey bread. Should we really be eating foods with these names? Can you cut your mouth on glass noodles? Will you go to hell after eating devil’s food cake?

The list goes on of foods with crazy names. Sweetbreads are not sweet breads. Is puppy chow a snack for you or your dog?  And what about Buffalo wings? Not only are Buffalo wings NOT buffalo, buffalos don’t even have wings. Could they fly if they did?

If you notice, most of the foods with scary names are desserts. Maybe the person responsible for naming them wanted to prevent us from stealing their food, like the brother who spits on the cookies so his sister won’t eat them.

Then there are the foods that deceive non-English speaking people like the can of Crisco with the pie on the label which can be misunderstood to actually contain pie.

Or how about the fabulous candy called Frango Mints that were once sold by Marshall Field’s, now Macy’s? Frango in Portuguese means chicken. You can smell the chocolate and mint when you pick up the box of Frangos, so Portuguese speaking people may think that they’re buying chocolate, minted chicken. Does anyone really want that?

Maybe there should be laws about naming foods appropriately. Or better yet, maybe I can get government funding for a study on this.

I’ll ponder these thoughts over a slice of mud pie.

©Mary K. Doyle

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