The Real You Monday, May 20 2013 

Everyday Life and Health and Perspective , Mary K. Doyle 10:55 pm

One of the first assignments given in a psychology class I attended many years ago was to make a three column list with headers that included:

1 – How You View Yourself

2 – How Others View You

3 – The Real You

The exercise was quite insightful and one that is helpful to periodically repeat. People rarely see themselves as others do. Our self-image is usually tainted. We are everything from very modest to completely delusional.

We all know people who talk about how great they are at something. The old saying was that their superiority complex is actually an inferiority complex.

Nor do people know us as well as they think they do. They don’t know everything about us and can be biased for many reasons.

This is true with body image as well as personality, abilities, and gifts. A recent study offered participants three photos of themselves and asked them to choose the one that was untouched. The other two were either slightly or drastically touched up. Everyone chose the one that was slightly touched up. We typically think we look at least a little better than we actually do.

If you’re interested in self-improvement, try performing that three column exercise above. When completed honestly, we may be surprised at what we learn about ourselves. It’s a great little starting point for a better us.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Grandpa Was a Clown Thursday, May 16 2013 

Everyday Life and History , , , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 10:21 am

John J Doyle

“I have a weak back.”

“How long have you had it?”

“About a week back.”

I was only six when my grandfather, John “Jack” Doyle, passed away, but I still smile when I remember his face and little comedy bits like this one that he would say.

Grandpa was a vaudevillian in his younger years. According to a handful of undated, poorly photocopied news clips, he was a “well-known” Chicago comedian from vaudeville and traveling shows before and after his military service. Some of the little articles are about upcoming shows and others are updates on his condition after being injured in France during World War I.

Vaudeville was a specific type of entertainment in the United States and Canada from the late 1880s until the early 1930s. It was a variety-type show that featured multiple different acts on one bill. Musicians, dancers, comedians, acrobats, jugglers, and magicians offered an evening of family amusement. It was a time when live entertainment was still king until motion pictures took over that role.

The first official vaudeville theater in Chicago opened at the West Side Museum in 1882. The Clark Street Museum, Olympic Theater, and the Chicago Opera House soon followed. Some of the largest Chicago theaters seated 2,000 such as Academy of Music, the Haymarket, McVickers, and the Majestic, which was later renamed the Shubert.

I can imagine the patrons attending these shows out for a night of fun, dressed in their finery. Men would be dashing in hats and coats while woman were particularly sassy in shorter dresses and flirty hair accessories in the 1920s style.

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A few years ago I dressed in a flapper dress for Halloween, and I have to tell you, it was so much fun. There is something about that dress that attracted men and women alike and felt festive while wearing it. It also made me feel a little closer to my grandpa, imagining how it would be to have attended one of his shows.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Longing to Love Monday, May 13 2013 

Everyday Life , , , Mary K. Doyle 3:21 pm

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Holidays are opportunities to celebrate life with friends and family. They are occasions for us to mark the years with fond memories that help us get through tough days in the future.

Mother’s Day is such an occasion. My children, children-in-law, and grandchildren shower me with love and care, not only on Mother’s Day but always. I can’t imagine my life without them.

But I realize this also is a day that is painful for many. For the women who long for a child and are unable to conceive and carry a baby full term or adopt one, and those who lost a child along the way, Mother’s Day is a sore reminder of unrealized dreams. It’s also difficult for those who those who do not have a loving mother, or who’s recently passed away.

If you are one of those who found the day difficult, I am so sorry for your pain. I prayed a special pray for you on Mother’s Day. Perhaps God knows only you can use that longing to love in other ways the world so desperately needs.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Hats Off to the Grads Friday, May 10 2013 

Everyday Life and Leadership , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 12:42 pm

Congratulations to all the college students graduating this month. Whether you progressed from high school right through college, or took the long road as I did (18 years from the start of an Associate’s Degree to graduation for my Masters Degree), the completion of a degree program indicates your determination to march on and follow through tremendous challenges.

College demands a significant investment of time, energy, and money. Class after class, we rack our brains to understand and retain mountains of information while maintaining an already full work and daily life schedule. We work on projects with peers who do not contribute their fair share. We endure boring lessons and professors. And we leave with a student debt that takes decades to repay.

So why do we do it? Why are so many middle-aged adults joining younger generations in pursuit of a degree? Because education is never wasted. It becomes enmeshed in our daily thought process, our point of reference. A college education is an investment in our personal-development, our future, and our family.

It opens doors to career opportunities and increases job satisfaction and earning potential. And believe it or not, a college degree lowers blood pressure and the risk of developing colorectal, prostate, lung and breast cancer, according to a study published in the Journal of National Cancer Institute.

So walk proudly, graduates. You worked hard. Congratulations and best wishes for a very bright future.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Breaking the Myth Monday, May 6 2013 

Everyday Life and Writing Tips , Mary K. Doyle 3:21 pm

In a time when our writing is becoming less proper by the moment, we still are hanging on to the old myth that a sentence should never end in a preposition. I know I avoided it for most of my writing career, but I assure you, it is perfectly acceptable to do so.

Prepositions are words used before nouns and pronouns to form phrases that modify verbs, nouns, or adjectives. They deal with time and space. Examples of prepositions include: above, about, around, before, beneath, beyond, near, of, on, outside, under, upon, to, toward, and with.

If you want to sound more sophisticated, go ahead and say, “To whom shall I send this?” But writing or saying, “Who should I send this to?” really is just fine.

After I write something, I read it aloud. I can usually hear if the sentence is awkward even if I don’t see it on the computer.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Crazy Nana Mary Monday, Apr 29 2013 

Everyday Life and Perspective , , , Mary K. Doyle 8:59 am

Mary and Tyler.Baptism

From the first moment I thought of my children coming into my life, I loved them. They mean the world to me, and as they’ve grown into beautiful adults, inside and out, I continue to love them more and more.

But something happened when my two grandsons were born in February. As hard as it is for me to believe, I may love these babies more. When my children are on the floor playing with the babies, I trip right over my children to rush to my grandsons. I can’t help it. I am so enthralled with these little guys I can’t see anyone or anything else.

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I’m out of control. I know it. No matter how tired or busy, I drop everything to see them. I act like a bumbling idiot around them; covering them in kisses, making funny faces and noises, and trying all kinds of antics to get their attention.

Their little faces are imprinted on my mind from the moment I wake until I fall asleep, and I dream of them all night long. When they smile at me, oh my goodness, it is a moment in heaven. And if they coo, I can’t look away until they get tired of me. Every little sound they make is the most captivating thing I’ve ever heard. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them.

I was warned this would happen. Friends with grandchildren told me it would be like this. But truly, I couldn’t imagine it. My friends already knew that grandparenting has all the benefits of parenting without the drawbacks of sleepless nights or endless parental responsibilities. Grandparents get the perks without the problems. It’s pure joy.

All I can say world, is that you better straighten up. No more wars, intolerance, unkind words, or hateful deeds. Nana wants - no demands - a better world for her grandchildren. And there’s no crossin’ Nana.

(Photo of Tyler and Mary by Erin Lukasiewicz)

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Check Points Thursday, Apr 25 2013 

Everyday Life and Perspective , Mary K. Doyle 4:24 pm

Periodically, we benefit by stopping and looking at where we are, what we are doing, and where we want to go. Without reassessment, we either take our many blessings for granted or do not make the changes that will help us grow. We get stuck in a rut, spin our wheels, and go nowhere.

Our housing, job, or relationship may have been the perfect solution at the time we chose them but no longer work well for us. We continue working in an office because we enjoy fellow employees but know we have no room for advancement, would prefer a different position, or could increase our earning potential elsewhere. We live in a home that is currently too large, too small, or too far from work. We remain in relationships that are difficult or even detrimental because we do not want to be alone.

Making life-changes can be scary. We worry about making the best decision as if life and death depends upon it. But such fears, which most often are without reason, hold us back from attaining our dreams. Few choices alter our future so significantly that everything is affected by them. Most only affect a segment of our lives and can be changed or modified as we go along.

That pathway to a happier, fuller life begins with a pause. Stop and look around. Then take one little step.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Rain, Rain, Go Away Thursday, Apr 18 2013 

Everyday Life and Health and Nature , , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 2:04 pm

We can always talk about the weather in the Midwest. It fluctuates and can be extreme. Currently we are experiencing record breaking rainfalls. Much of the Chicago area is experiencing at least some flooding, and there are areas completely underwater.

Flood water is potentially contaminated with raw sewage and toxic substances, so it is best to avoid contact if possible. If you must work in it, the EPA suggests frequent hand washing with disinfecting soap, especially before drinking and eating. Also, be sure your vaccinations are up to date.

Other suggestions include:

  • Do not allow children to play in flood waters.
  • Keep generator exhaust way from doors and windows because it is toxic.
  • Do not use water from flooded household wells until it is tested safe to use.
  • Do not use the sewage system from home septic systems after a flood until the water in the soil absorption field is lower than the water level around the house.
  • Never drive through flooded areas.
  • Do not enter flooded basements if the power is on.
  • After the flood, remove standing water and get areas dry within 24-48 hours to avoid mold.
  • Boil drinking water for at least 3 minutes.
  • Toss unrefrigerated perishable food.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Teaching Respect Monday, Apr 15 2013 

Everyday Life and Leadership and Perspective , , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 12:08 pm

Another beautiful young woman committed suicide after being bullied. Rehtaeh Parsons, a 17-year-old high school student from Halifax, Nova Scotia, recently was taken off of life support after hanging herself. Rehtaeh allegedly was gang-raped in November of 2011. A photo said to be taken during the attack was circulated among her fellow students, who then bullied her for more than a year. Rehtaeh was so distraught from the rape and continuous bullying, she sought relief in her death.

There are so many parts of this story that saddens me. I’m so very sad for beautiful Rehtaeh and her grieving family. I’m also sad and disturbed for the group of peers who assaulted her repeatedly in one way or another. And I’m disheartened over the fact that this is not an event that hasn’t happened before.

What is wrong with a society of adolescents who can be so cruel? Aren’t the young supposed to be innocent and optimistic? What are we doing, or not doing, as parents, teachers, and mentors to raise such a group of young people?

More than twenty years ago I worked with a detective on a series of stories on self-defense for the Chicago Tribune. The detective asked me if women, as mothers, couldn’t instill a greater level of respect in their sons for women. He felt most boys did not respect their mothers, much less other women.

I do think the detective has a point. We want our children to feel special, loved, and powerful. But are we doing enough to teach them to treat us, as well as others, with the same care and compassion?

How is it that so many young people could torment one young woman? Where is the respect and consideration due another human being?

This issue needs urgent attention. Our children are our future. We are their role models and mentors. It is our responsibility to guide the adults of tomorrow.

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

Tornado Season Monday, Apr 8 2013 

Everyday Life and Nature , , , , , , Mary K. Doyle 4:42 pm

Tornado season is upon us, and although there are people who are intrigued by these violent rotating columns of air, most of us hope never to experience one up close.

Tornadoes may strike without any warning, but some of the signs that indicate the possibility of a tornado are a dark, often greenish sky; large hail; large, dark, low-lying clouds, particularly if they are rotating; and a loud roar like a freight train.

A tornado watch means that tornadoes are possible. You should listen closely to instructions by local emergency management officials.

A tornado warning indicates that weather radar sighted a tornado and you should seek shelter immediately. This shelter is preferably away from windows and in a basement. If this is not possible, look for an inside space protected from falling and blowing debris. Residents of mobile homes are advised to go to a nearby shelter facility, if time permits. It’s also advisable to designate a place to meet family members in the event you are separated.

Tornadoes are very unpredictable but here are a few averages of interest:

  • The U.S. typically has about 1,200 tornadoes every year.
  • Peak season for the Midwest is late spring through early summer.
  • The average speed of a tornado is 30 mph.
  • Most tornadoes move southwest to northeast.
  • Tornadoes typically occur between 3 and 9 p.m.

For more information, go to:

http://www.ready.gov/tornadoes

http://www.nssl.noaa.gov/education/svrwx101/tornadoes/

©2013, Mary K. Doyle

 

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